It's certainly not nice toe see you two!

Byline: Andy Hirst

Imagine a circle drawn around the hole in the sock, about 1/4 inch (6mm) larger than the hole on every side. With your needle and thread, stitch around this circle using a simple running stitch, your needle piercing the fabric down, then up, about every 1/8 inch (3mm). Complete the circle and add five more stitches. Clip off the remaining thread.Thread a darning needle with thread that's similar in colour and weight to the fabric of the sock. Don't knot the thread. Trim the ragged threads around the edges of the sock hole.I thought the right foot felt a little strange halfway there but reckoned the new sock must have just got bunched up.And when I got there to examine the damage it was double dismay as the other sock had done the same thing.See, couldn't be simpler. I think I'll just go and buy some new socks. But not from the same place that the last lot came from.I'd sort it out when I arrived, but then it clearly felt that something was sticking through what it shouldn't be sticking through - my toe through the sock.CAPTION(S):Where there is no fabric, your thread will simply lie flat across the hole. Continue stitching parallel vertical lines all the way across the hole.Finally clip off the remaining thread.Although there won't be a next time for these.Now darners are few and far between these days so I thought I'd peruse t'internet to see how to fix the problem. It must be easy. Surely.With their colour-coded toes and heels they'd be easier to spot in the wash, marry up and then pop back in the drawer for the next time.Rethread the darning needle with another length of thread (again, don't knot it). Starting at the top of the hole, just outside the circle you've stitched, make a series of vertical lines all the way across the hole. Where there is fabric, weave your needle through the fabric in a running stitch.They cost a fiver for seven pairs which may have seemed, on the face of it, something of a good buy.* HOLY SMOKE: My rubbish socks zz310811socks.jpg or zz310811socks2.jpgI'M claiming a new world record for the shortest-lasting pair of socks.They were put on at 9.30am and 20 minutes later I set off to walk to a friend's house nearby in the village.When you've covered the hole with vertical lines make horizontal stitches, weaving your needle under and over the vertical lines you just made. Once the entire area has been filled up, make another six or seven running stitches (simple up-and-down stitches) in the sock outside the darning area. This will hold the stitches in place.On Tuesday morning I pulled on my pair of brand new 'essentials' socks from a high street store.

* HOLY SMOKE: My rubbish socks zz310811socks.jpg or zz310811socks2.jpg